


I won't tell you I'm lonely

by allyouroceans



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: AU, Falling Out of Love, Living Together, M/M, because our ship irl is already sad enough so i decided to make myself sadder, broken relationship, pure angst, that means they aren't kpop idols
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27740101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyouroceans/pseuds/allyouroceans
Summary: "Hey, breakfast?""Nah. Late for work." Jae shakes his head, coming to give him a peck at his cheek before rushing to the door. Younghyun knows it is only a part of their routine. It feels blank. Scarily blank."Text me when you get there, okay?"Younghyun knows he probably wouldn't get any chat notifications when Jae does.Alternatively: A small slice from Jae and Brian's relationship when things were starting to fall apart.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	I won't tell you I'm lonely

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by melina again bc yknow i have only one friend (jkjk) thank you and ily 🥺
> 
> it's v v v short bc i shouldn't be writing as i'm preparing for a very important test but guess what here i am hahahahahHAH *sobs*
> 
> title from Alessia Cara's Out of Love <3
> 
> no more ranting, enjoy reading!

_ There's not a thing I could say _

_ Not a song I could sing _

_ For your mind to change _

  
  
  


Younghyun doesn’t know how it started. Everything is natural, like clockwork, like water flowing down a stream, except for the fact that it is not a good thing.

  
  


Falling out of love is as easy as falling in love. And he is so afraid of experiencing that.

  
  


He has tried and tried to look for signs that might have indicated how bad Jae is feeling or how fragile their relationship has become, but he just fails to see any of them. Jae never told him how he wanted him to be like; how he wanted their relationship to be like. Jae just put up with everything and when things came to a point where they both couldn't carry on anymore, things started to change. 

  
  


And the scariest thing is here: Jae never leaves. Jae is always here. Physically. But Brian doesn’t know about his heart. It might be somewhere else. Or someone else's. Brian is too afraid to even think about it. Everything between them is exactly the same, but Brian knows it is not the  _ same _ same anymore. Every kiss, every  _ i love you _ , every  _ good night Bribri _ , every cuddle now feels different. And Brian is sure he isn't overthinking.

  
  
  
  


"Hey, breakfast?"

"Nah. Late for work." Jae shakes his head, coming to give him a peck at his cheek before rushing to the door. Younghyun knows it's only a part of their routine. It feels blank. Scarily blank.

"Text me when you get there, okay?"

  
  


Younghyun somehow knows he won't be getting any notifications when Jae does.

  
  
  
  


###

  
  
  
  


"You look so drained out today, hyung. Have you been getting any sleep lately?" Dowoon asks when he sits down onto the chair in front of his colleague. 

"Yeah, I'm... Tired."

"Is it about Jaehyungie hyung?"

"...Is it really obvious?" Brian chuckles, but Dowoon sees the sadness inside those fox eyes so clearly.

"You're never this sad unless it's about him. Tell me, what is it this time?"

"See, I don't even know what it is this time."

"Then how could you fix it? You've been together for years! It's been what? Three years already, right?"

"Almost four. We started dating even before I joined our company."

"Woah, then this must be something serious, right? You guys love each other so much."

"To be honest, I don't know anymore, Dowoonie." He sighs, feeling so low and tired. "People fall in love too easily. Too easily that they aren't aware of falling out of it."

  
  
  
  


###

  
  
  
  


"Bad day?" Jae asks him as they sit together quietly, finishing their dinner. Jae had texted him earlier that he'd bring home some Japanese food he found on his way back. Brian wanted to feel happy about it, but he just couldn't. The dark clouds in his mind were all over the place.

"Yeah..." Brian sighs as he plays with the last few pieces of salmon sashimi on the table. Jae doesn't ask further about it, he just gestures him to eat them. He knows Brian loves salmon sashimi more than anything.

Brian couldn't help but miss the old times. Their dinner used to be more fun, used to be full of giggles and vivid conversation about their lives. Now, it is full of unspoken words and blasting sounds of silence screaming in their minds. Brian doesn’t want it to be like this. He never wants it to be like this.

  
  
  
  


###

  
  
  
  


They take turns to shower, waiting uncomfortably as the only sound audible in their house is water running down the drain. Brian chuckles bitterly as he hears Jae lathering soap and washing his face. They've been together for so long, long enough he could recognize the sound of Jae washing his face anywhere. It feels so empty just to imagine a future where they live separately, but it is undeniably one of the possibilities Brian keeps thinking about. He's too scared to bring it up, but he knows for a fact that they couldn't keep it like this for long. Either Jae or him needs to say it, either Jae or him needs to walk away.

  
  
  


###

  
  
  
  


It is like muscle memory—the way Brian slips into their comforter and Jae walks to kill the light. The darkness makes Brian even more antsy. He doesn’t feel like moving, doesn’t feel like turning back to hug Jae. He knows Jae is also turning his back to him. 

Just like how their love is falling apart, just like how they are trying to balance themselves on a fragile, little branch.

Maybe, maybe he is really overthinking. Maybe it’s all only him.  _ His fault. _

  
  
  
  


###

  
  
  
  


"Goodnight. Love you." He hears Jae mumbling it, and his heart aches in a million different ways.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Who do you love now? _

  
  
  
  


It's just disappointing how he couldn't answer his own question.

  
  
  
  


And just like that, Brian finds himself slowly drifting away into his dreams. 

  
  
  
  


It is now unbelievably quiet; Brian could almost hear his own heart beating in his chest.

  
  
  
  


His own heart— the heart that used to beat for Jae.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hi hello *hands facial tissue* comments are welcome and maybe leave me some study motivation too i really need them thanks TT stay safe!


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